October 2025
In this episode of THE FINANCIAL COMMUTE, Chris and Priscilla explore how navigating different retirement timelines can affect everything from a couple's finances and emotions to daily routines.
Tune in if you’re interested in…
• Managing the financial and emotional shift when one partner retires first
• Finding balance between independence and shared routines
• Keeping your long-term goals aligned when your timelines don’t match
Watch previous episodes here:
Ep. 157 Retirement Living: Finding the Right Fit
Ep. 156 Comparing Money Mindsets of Different Generations
Priscilla, I'm really excited to start this conversation. About what if one spouse decides to retire first, and through the study that Amber and Ian and our great team did, it said that about 48% of working couples plan to retire in or around the same time. But the reality is that it probably doesn't really work out that way. But if about half of them say, hey, I want to retire at the same time, that means more than 50% are going to retire at different time frames.
Exactly.
And this is an important thing to think through. You've lived through it a little bit.
I have, yes.
So what are some things that people should consider?
Well, one of the things to consider is why is each spouse thinking about retiring? It may be that one of the spouses has a health issue. And so retirement is coming when it's not wanted and it's being piled on top of health problems. That's a very difficult challenge, right? Maybe someone just has a job and they're not really feeling fulfilled in that job.
You know, and they just figure it's time to move on. Some companies age people out, you know, so they're forced into retirement. But hopefully it's the better option, which is, I'm ready to move forward in my life and, not necessarily retire from something, but retire to something in the future. You know, some passion that they want to embrace or make time for grandkids, whatever.
So I think the first step is to recognize why is it that retirement is being discussed.
You know, because that could bring on its own set of challenges.
Exactly.
Exactly. As you're even just talking about this, it reminds me of, like, this pre-marriage counseling that my wife and I took many, many years ago before we when we got engaged, before we got married. And just like the roles and responsibilities around money and household chores and expectations around cooking dinner and dry cleaning. It it brings me back to you're almost having to relive those conversations again about roles and responsibilities and how somebody will show up if somebody's still working versus retired.
Well, exactly. And of course, the difference is that when you have premarital counseling, you are guessing what's going to happen after the marriage, when you go into retirement, especially when one spouse is retiring before the other. You already know what's been happening. And I think one of the challenges is what's going to happen in the future. Each spouse may have different expectations.
One spouse might think, well, you know, things are doing fine. Let's just do what we've been doing and the other spouse may feel, well, wait a minute. And I'm continuing to work and, you know, maybe you, the retiring one, should take on more household responsibilities. So it's important, I think, for each individual to think through what they want and what they need, but then talk to each other and don't assume that the other person knows what you're thinking.
You know, be honest. Be open, be vulnerable. Yeah. It's okay. But that's a really important conversation to have. And you may not get it resolved in one conversation. This might be a process as opposed to an event.
And I do believe that communication is probably the most important thing in any relationship. But I loved how you started the conversation with, what are you retiring to do now.
Exactly.
And so that's more of the optimist. And, you know, I get to do these things. But the reality is there is that other side that, you know, there's some challenges as to reasons why. Maybe people have to step into retirement early, maybe it's unwanted, maybe it is, you know, health or other things. And so you still have to communicate and kind of let the other person know or find the right support to be able to help you navigate those challenges and then be able to move on.
Exactly, exactly. I'll give you an example of retirement that was kind of necessary, but not necessarily welcome. And it's my husband. He was a public school teacher for 38 years in, one of the high schools in Burbank. And he had a very, very successful high school photography department. But, and he always for all 38 years, he loved teaching the students.
He loved watching them grow and develop, you know, that, all of that. But the administration side of education, became just unbearable for him. And he was, like, cranky all the time. And I said to him one day, when the last time you had a really good day and he couldn't remember, you know, so I said, you know, you can retire on 97% of your salary, you're miserable and you're working for free.
And that was kind of the turning point. Yeah. You know, it may not be as dramatic as that for someone else, right? But, I think the point is that there was a conversation and a dialog and we worked through over the next several months what he was going to retire to. Yeah. Which was something he'd always been interested in, which was managing or real estate.
Yeah. Well, that's that's the important part is that oftentimes when people step away from work, they find some unhappiness or, lack of excitement because they've either lost their identity. Yeah. Or the connections and the people that they communicated with every single day. Well, they're now working and busy. I've heard countless times from people about, I thought we had such a great relationship with so-and-so.
We had lunch all the time. We talked to each other every day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm no longer working at that company, and I rarely talk to that person. And it's because they're busy and they're doing their job. And then fast forward a couple of years, they stepped away and retired, and all of a sudden they're back friends hanging out.
You have to overcome that loss of identity and that social circle that you have, and replace it with a hobby and another social circle, because, you know, we're humans, and being social is a key part of our happiness and our success long term.
Exactly, exactly. I think, you have to be ready for changes in almost all of your relationships when you retire, depending on where different people are in your life. You know, for someone who is still on that treadmill going to work every day, the enormous energy required when you have a career as an example there, there's not sometimes as much time as you would like to invest in your friends.
And so a friend who's retired and has a lot more time and a lot more energy, that that's a difficult balance to find. Yeah. And so, again, it just takes talking to each other and understanding that this is a change in the relationship. It's okay. You know, when you have more time, we'll we'll do lunch more often or we'll do camping trips.
We'll go to the museum, whatever it is that is your passion.
So obviously people who are looking to make this decision communicate. Communication is really important. Understanding why this impact, why this change is happening, how it impacts them. Yeah. Roles and responsibilities around the house. Make sure that you're setting up, you and your partner for success because the expectations are clear. Yes. Maybe you have some skills, passions or hobbies.
Beyond that, how more than wealth can really help is obviously we can run financial plans and projections to make sure that it's okay. We can come up with tax strategies like Roth conversions if you've got lower income. If you're nearing retirement, we can look to make sure that, you know, you're fully maximizing your employer retirement plans. That's one thing that I was actually shocked about in the study.
Yes. And this just goes to show how little we we talked about finances even with our spouses. Yeah. The number of couples that were missing free money through employer matches and their retirement plans because they weren't quite contributing enough. Yeah. And so if they could have shifted the dollars to one spouse or the other, that they could have made an extra, you know, $800,000 a year instead of money.
Yeah, that's a big thing.
It's a big thing. And I think what happens is, you know, when we're enrolling in a 401 K, you know, we we tend to do that like in a silo. Right? You're at work. And somebody says, oh, deadlines coming up and, and and so you have to make a decision and you think, well, I'll just do x, and then you get home and things are busy and you forget to talk with spouse about it.
So I think that's where Morton Wealth can really play a key role, is helping you give yourself permission to take the time to say, okay, here's my plan. What is your plan at work look like? And then with your Morton advisor, you can say, whoa, wait a minute. There's a lost opportunity right there. I think a lot of people miss the catch up.
You know, when you get over 55, you can put more money in, right? Yeah. We we forget as, as busy people and, you know, so the Morton advisor, again, can help play a role in that because we have all of these lovely systems in place that say, look, somebody is turning 55. Should they do a catch up?
Yeah. Well, I mean, it's also all of the different things that the age 55 catch up is for health savings accounts. The age 50 is for retirement accounts. Right. But then there's that new catch up if you're between age 60 and 63.
But just to that point, I mean, missing out on free money and tax saving strategies to help put yourself in a place to be financially free when it comes to retirement, because that was the other stat that really shocked me, is that the person that steps away from work first oftentimes feels a lot of insecurity around finances.
Yes. And so then they do the thing that you and I say not to do, oh please, is they look at their portfolio every single day with that idea. It's just not healthy. The reason why one thing moved up or down in a given day versus other things is, is somewhat pointless and completely out of our control.
Yeah, it's interesting to understand how you're positioned, allocated, whether or not you're on a good you're in the right spot. But, looking at it every day is just not, not healthy.
Well, when you transition from being an income earner to an income consumer, psychologically that's very difficult for many, many people. When you transition from you know, maybe being in charge at work every day to not being in charge, that's also difficult transition. You put the two of them together and it's understandable. I really do understand why someone who's transition, transitioning from working to retirement, wants to make sure that their money is still okay.
And, you know, in the same sense that they go to work every day. They look at the portfolio every day. Yeah, well, going to work every day is great. But looking at the portfolio every day, not so.
Much, not so much. I was thinking about the roles and responsibilities as it relates to myself. If for some reason I had to retire before Brianna, and then I'd have to be more responsible for the meals every single night. And I'm not nearly as good of a cook as her. I should actually probably start investing in some learning how to cook classes right now.
So that way later on I can be set up better for success because yeah, it's going to it's going to be ugly.
Well, you know, they do have these lovely delivery services where you just put it in the oven and 20 minutes later you have this nice meal.
It may be 20 years from now. A robot will do it for me, but I don't know. We'll see.
Priscilla. Thank you so much for your time today. I do want to just recap. I mean, if you're looking to retire before your spouse. Yeah, being on the same page, you know, communicate, understand roles and responsibilities, try to feel empowered by the decision because of what you're going to be able to do, what you're striving towards.
Be on the same page financially. So that way you feel empowered to be able to make that spending decision or, you know, have that loss of income. And again, it all comes down to communication and setting the right expectations. I loved the conversation. Thank you so much.
