Chris Galeski: Hello, everyone, and thank you for joining us for another episode of THE FINANCIAL COMMUTE. I'm your host, Chris Galeski, and here to join me today is my wife, Briana.
Briana Galeski: Yay!
Chris Galeski: It felt important if we're going to... if we're going to guide the conversation around money conversations every couple should have, it felt right to have you join me in this conversation.
Briana Galeski: We're a couple, right? Let's do this.
Chris Galeski: So as we were doing some research, like one stat, you know, really stood out to you. But, I mean, I'm shocked by the number of conversations I have with people where couples are not aligned financially with their goals in their finances. Tell me a little bit about that stat that really stood out to you.
Briana Galeski: Yeah. So shout out to Ian on your research team that gave us all this data. According to the Certified Divorce Financial Analyst Group, which I didn't even know was a thing, but that's a real thing. 32% of individuals feel uncomfortable discussing finances with their partners, leading to an average of 58 money-related arguments per year.
So a little over one a week.
Chris Galeski: Yeah. Look, I know that money tends to be a very sensitive topic, a topic that creates, a lot of stress or anxiety for people. And I'm always amazed by the number of people that don't have these conversations. And I know that we've gone on a journey financially, to put things in place to help set us up for success.
But as I look at it, not that we're perfect at this, but we maybe have 3 or 4 financial-related arguments a year. Yes. Not 58. No. And so that really stood out. And as we were talking about this, one of the most important things is just engaging in the conversation. Yes. You know, starting the point of being like, okay, let's have regular conversations around money.
We don't have our schedules, but some people recommend having them scheduled, you know, monthly or quarterly. But at least having a plan where you can discuss your current financial situation. I mean, how do you feel about that?
Briana Galeski: I mean, obviously, I think the key to any relationship, is communication. And then when it comes to finances, I think it's even more important to have really clear, consistent lines of communication going. You know, you and I sort of have a kind of a rolling conversation. It kind of comes up at least weekly. We'll do a check in or I'll be paying bills and, you know, you'll say, hey, what's up with this or whatever?
So I really think that couples just need to check in with each other. And again, they don't necessarily have to schedule something though. Some people might find that that's helpful if they see it in black and white on their calendar. They're no they're going to have a sit down. But just to have those lines of communication open is huge.
Chris Galeski: You know, as I think back about our relationship, I mean, we both have sort of different priorities as it is. It comes to money in a different relationship with money. And early on in our relationship we both tried to do it together. But we made some mistakes there. I mean, I was I was spending on an ATM card you were spending on a credit card to, you know, try to maximize points and come bill paying time, wewould wake up and be like, where'd the money go? Well, I thought it was there, but you had spent it in other places. So one of the things that I, and I'm grateful that we did is we we set aside roles and responsibilities for each of us that coincide with the regular conversations that we're trying to have.
Briana Galeski: Right? Yeah, there's kind of a clear division of labor for us. So, I obviously do the day to day, so I'll all the bill paying and things like that. What tracking credit cards. Also all the points. That's a whole nother conversation. But one more about those points. And then you kind of handle all the big picture macro stuff, all the investing and, long term things like that, because that is absolutely your department, and I know nothing about that.
But I have all the other day to day stuff on luck.
Chris Galeski: Well, fortunately, I mean, that's definitely down your wheelhouse, especially being a former event planner and wedding coordinator. I mean, you just you follow a process, procedure and timing of things a lot better than I do, and I tend to handle the big picture. So obviously having regular conversations is important, but also being able to have conversations on what your short and long term goals are.
Yes. I mean, you've always told me that you don't really want material things, you'd rather have experiences. And yes, that's something that we've had to learn from each other. You know, what are some questions or conversations that you think couples should have around identifying their short and long term goals?
Briana Galeski: Yeah. So I think obviously you want to kind of be on the same page as what what do you value? Where do you want to spend your money? You and I happen to love experiences and trips and traveling, and we want to instill that in our children as well. So we like to save, save, save for trips.
Whereas other people might like a fancy car or, you know, designer clothing, what have you. People like different things. So I think just making sure that you're linking up with your partner regarding where do we want to spend our money, what matters to us? I think that's the number one thing. And then figuring out, like you said, long term short term goals.
Are we saving for a trip? Are we saving for house, a car, and then long term things? Are we saving for, education for our kids or retirement? Something like that.
Chris Galeski: Yeah. We've never enjoyed the term budget.
Briana Galeski: The B word.
Chris Galeski: Even though, you know, you tend to be somebody that's a little bit more thrifty, with money and saving. We've never enjoyed the word budget because we have this life that we want to live and these experiences that we want to create not only with each other, but with our kids. Creating a spending plan and something that, you know, where your money goes often, and then how much you're saving to meet those longer term goals, whether it's saving for a house, saving for retirement, kids education.
Like how do you think we've engaged in that conversation that might help some other couples there?
Briana Galeski: Yeah. Do you remember this was like 15 years ago? I think we just got married, but, I don't know, maybe we were engaged.
Chris Galeski: Yeah, we went through pre-marriage counseling right prior to getting married.
Briana Galeski: I suggested, because we finally started making some money and we were comfortable like, yeah, this is great. And I said, why don't we track every single penny that we spend in a month? And so I created that spreadsheet for us. Do you remember how eye opening that was? We tracked every cup of coffee, you know, tank of gas meal.
And what were we spending? Just an incredible amount of money on...
Chris Galeski: I think it was dry cleaning.
Briana Galeski: Well, no, that's all you. Yeah, right.
Chris Galeski: I thought I thought I budgeted $500 a year for dry cleaning. It was several thousand.
Briana Galeski: Yeah. Dry cleaning. And then also restaurants. Yeah, because we were. We lived in Toluca Lake at the time. There were so many restaurants and bars around, so we would just go out to dinner and have some drinks and go out for dessert and go out for coffee and breakfast and not add it up so quickly when we sat down at the end of the month and said, okay, where did our money go?
Chris Galeski: Yeah, I was blown away. I mean, that's the one part about this that I think people often fail to do is they create this budget, but they don't track it. To see whether or not it was true to life or not. Sure. Right. And so that creates that creates problems, that creates surprises. I mean, I'm a firm believer that people go throughout a journey and not everybody goes through every single one of these points.
But, you know, most people, they work enough and they make enough money just to survive just for basic essentials. And then that next step beyond that is okay. Now I've got basic essentials covered. Maybe I can have a little bit more enjoyable experiences. Maybe I'm able to go out to dinner or take a vacation, and then maybe they reach a point to where their basic needs are met, their essential expend, their essential expenses are covered.
They're being able to enjoy life a little bit, and now they've got extra money left over that they can save to pay down debt or save for longer term goals. And then hopefully they reach a point in their life where, they've saved enough money that they can walk away from work and maintain that same lifestyle because they they understand what it costs.
They've saved enough money and their investments have done well enough for them to feel financially free. Everybody goes on this journey at a different point, but that's one of the things where we created a spending plan, but also a way to monitor it. So that way we know how much we need to save and kind of pay ourselves first when that money hits that joint account.
You shift it around to the different buckets, right?
Briana Galeski: I do, so, I figure out, obviously, what are we setting aside for savings? And then I set it aside to go to the bills and, the travel fund. The tax fund, all the little buckets. And that's what we just do every, every time the money comes in. And it just helps. It's just accountability. You know.
Chris Galeski: I get a kick out of it looking at our all of our accounts at Fidelity, I think we have 14.
From our investment account to our checking account to the 529. So the 401 K, the IRAs, the travel bucket, the tax I guess we do, you know, but I believe it helps keep us organized and we feel free to spend that money that's in that travel account, because that's what it was designed to do.
Briana Galeski: Exactly.
Chris Galeski: So there's no sort of regret afterwards.
Briana Galeski: Right. And it's also it's kind of liberating because, you know, this is what we have to work with that's there. And then like you said, there's no, regret or guilt or bet because that is that was what it was intended for. And so you can spend that freely and just really enjoy it. And that's always the goal is to enjoy your wealth.
Right. Yeah. And so we're able to do that.
Chris Galeski: So we talked a little bit about having regular conversations getting aligned on financial goals, priorities, creating a spending plan that you can agree on that not only allows you to live the life that you would like to live, but also save enough money to where you're on track for retirement or being able to step away from work, and maybe creating a way to monitor that over time to make sure that you're on track with where your money's going.
One of the hardest conversations we've had to have is protecting our financial futures. Creating that estate plan, the wills, the trust, the financial powers of attorney. Making sure that we had enough insurance set aside, God forbid something were to happen in one of us, that you and our girls are going to be okay. But that was a very important conversation to have.
Briana Galeski: It was the most important conversation I think we've ever had regarding money and it was very, difficult for me because it, you know, you're thinking about, what if I'm not there for my children and no one ever wants to think about that? But it's so crucial that you have a plan in place to protect your family. And obviously you want to, like, hope for the best.
Plan for the worst, right? So I'm glad that we had that conversation as difficult as it was. I highly recommend people sit down and and just do that, and the peace of mind that now comes with that is is incredible. And glad that we did it. But it was hard. Yeah, but we did it.
Chris Galeski: But it's also a chance for you to kind of talk about your values around money and the values that you'd like to pass along to your kids. Or, you know, you think about, a client of mine said to me one time that that money doesn't solve all problems, but it does help ease the struggle. Yeah. And you've got to, you know, live in a way to where you're living within your means, but you're also giving back to the community and charities that are important to you.
Briana Galeski: It was just a beautiful way to kind of start a family conversation around that. The last part we also think is important, besides making all these decisions, tracking stuff is gaining financial knowledge. Now you're in a weird spot because your husband, me, I work in this business and it's easy to sort of delegate and say, hey, I don't need to worry about that.
Chris Galeski: I don't need to know what a stock or a bond or mutual funds are. But, you know, investing in your financial knowledge is extremely important, and you've really taken ownership of that too.
Briana Galeski: I would like to think that I have expanded my financial knowledge. Just kind of listening and paying attention. You are so brilliant. And I'm not just saying that because I'm your wife. I'm trying to make you look good on your podcast. But I really believe that you're so smart. And I. You've taught me so much about, investing and things like that.
I've given you some pretty good stock tips over the years. I have to kind of pat myself on the back there, even though you fought me on them.
Yeah, many times.
They were winners, sir.
Chris Galeski: I still regret the Dunkin Donuts that I did not buy, even though you told me to. You just like the coffee.
Briana Galeski: Coffee and donuts. Like you can't. There's no losing there, sir.
Chris Galeski: We're not giving stock tips.
But investing in your in your financial future is important. I mean, if something were to happen to me, at least you feel equipped to understand where things are at, why they're there, and who you can go to for help, which is, I think, another important aspect of having a relationship with an advisor. So that way that spouse or both spouses feel sort of empowered to be able to have a conversation and understand what their risk tolerance is, how they're going to be okay.
Briana Galeski: That was really important from my perspective.
Yes. And, you know, obviously, God forbid something ever happened to you, but because we have a plan in place and I know the people on our team that we've assembled that I trust and that I know could guide our family through those next steps. You know, I don't have to. I don't have to worry again. Again. God forbid anything happen.
But the, peace of mind, like I said before, that comes with that is huge, you know?
Chris Galeski: Yeah. So as we were talking about this, like, your biggest takeaway, if somebody is not used to having these conversations or has not had these conversations frequently, are you sort of brought up to me that that the best starting place for them is to set aside time to have these conversations and create a plan around where their money's going and being able to track it, but also to better understand their values.
So what questions do you think that people should ask each other to not only understand where they're at and how they can created the right plan going forward, but also what their values around money are because they might be different.
Briana Galeski: Yeah. Sometimes I think that these talks are if you can't sit down the cross from each other and, you know, have this very serious money conversation, go for a walk or go for a drive and have this talk because you're not necessarily making eye contact. And it can feel a little, a little more casual and where you can get into it.
I think number one is identifying like, what are our values as a partnership? What do we value? Again, we like to value experiences and like seeing the world and stuff. So we want to put our money there. And then what are our goals. What are we saving for? Where do we want our money to go and what do we believe... those kinds of conversations will pave the way.
Chris Galeski: I'm glad that you brought up driving in the car, because as I think about our relationship with money and together, our best conversations around money tend to be when we're driving in a car because it is less combative and we're able to sort of have a conversation around it. I know that after we put the girls down for bed and you're saying, hey, can I get 15 minutes because I want to talk about this.
Most of the time I am not interested in it because I've just had to talk about it all day.
Briana Galeski: I'm like, come look at this spreadsheet. It's 8:00 at night. I got to show you this breakdown. Yeah, it's it's hard and we're tired all the time because we have small children. So it's find a time when you're both fresh and an open to it. It's not going to get combative. And we never really get combative. We've gotten lively.
I don't think we've taken it to combative before. But, you know, people just need to find it, find the time that they're comfortable and that they're open, they're at their best, and then they can talk about it because it can be a little difficult. So, you want to kind of set the environment, and then you can have a productive, you know, kind conversation coming from a place of love and shared goals.
Chris Galeski: Yeah, I love that. And so as much as people can, they should set aside time to have these conversations and really start by creating that budget in a way to track it, to make sure that you're spending what you think you're spending, but also, you know, checking that box, knowing that you're saving the amount of money that you need to meet your longer term needs like retirement, college savings for kids, maybe buying a home.
That's a great starting point in my perspective, babe. Thank you so much for joining us today.
Briana Galeski: I didn't know if I could call you babe on the podcast. So, Christopher, it's, take your wife to work day. I had fun, thank you. I love you.
Chris Galeski: Love you too.
