May 2026
These are the questions people in relationships are genuinely asking. We've addressed them directly below, and the full conversation is available as a transcript further down the page.
When should couples start therapy?
Research shows couples wait an average of seven years longer than they should before seeking therapy. By that point, negative patterns are deeply ingrained and harder to shift. The strongest relationships don't wait for a crisis. They invest in understanding and communication early, when things are relatively good, as a form of preventative care rather than emergency repair.
What is the Gottman Method and how does it help relationships?
The Gottman Method is one of the most research-backed approaches to couples therapy available. Developed over decades of studying what makes relationships succeed or fail, it focuses on building friendship, managing conflict constructively, and creating shared meaning. Jennie references Gottman research throughout this episode to explain why certain patterns, like criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, are so damaging and what couples can do instead.
How do you know if your relationship needs therapy?
You don't have to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. If you find yourselves having the same argument repeatedly, struggling to feel heard, or slowly growing apart, those are signs worth paying attention to. Jennie's take is straightforward: if you're asking the question, that's already a signal worth acting on. Therapy is most effective when it's not a last resort.
What do strong relationships do differently from the start?
Strong relationships are built with intention. They prioritize honest communication, repair after conflict, and a willingness to be curious about each other rather than defensive. Jennie shares that one of the biggest differentiators is how couples handle the small moments of disconnection, not the big blowups, but the everyday misses that either get repaired or accumulate over time.
How do you bring up therapy to a partner who is resistant?
This is one of the most common questions Jennie hears. Her advice is to frame therapy not as fixing something broken but as investing in something you value. Coming from a place of "I want us to be even better" lands very differently than "we have a problem." Timing and tone matter enormously. Choosing a calm moment rather than the middle of a conflict makes a significant difference.
How does emotional wellbeing connect to financial wellbeing?
Relationship stress is one of the leading causes of financial conflict. Couples who communicate well tend to make better financial decisions together, align more easily on goals, and navigate life transitions with less friction. At Modearn, we work with clients on the full picture of their lives, not just their portfolios, because we know that financial clarity and personal wellbeing are deeply connected.
The decisions you make as a couple, about careers, housing, children, and retirement, are some of the most financially significant decisions of your life. They're also deeply emotional ones. At Modearn by Morton Wealth, we work with Millennials and Gen X clients who are navigating exactly this season of life, building strong foundations now so they don't have to play catch-up later.
We work through questions like:
Don't wait until it's broken
The couples who navigate hard seasons best are the ones who invested in their relationship before things got hard. Seven years is too long to wait. Starting therapy when things are good is not a sign something is wrong. It's a sign you're paying attention.
Therapy is preventative care, not emergency repair
Jennie reframes therapy the same way we think about physical health. You don't wait until you're sick to take care of your body. The same logic applies to your relationship. Regular check-ins, honest conversations, and a willingness to grow together are what sustain a relationship over decades.
The small moments matter more than the big ones
Conflict isn't what breaks relationships. It's the failure to repair after conflict. Jennie shares that the couples who thrive are the ones who stay curious about each other, take accountability quickly, and don't let small disconnections accumulate into distance.
How you talk about problems matters as much as the problems themselves
The Gottman research Jennie references throughout this episode makes clear that it's not what couples fight about but how they fightthat predicts whether a relationship will last. Learning to express needs without criticism and to listen without defensiveness are skills. And like anyskill, they can be taught.
"The goal isn't just to fix what's broken. It's to prevent it from breaking in the first place. — Jennie Marie Battistin"
The following is a lightly edited transcript of the conversation between Beau and Jennie.
Beau:
Today we're asking a therapist the million dollar question: how do I make my relationship work, financially and otherwise? I want to introduce my very good friend Jennie Marie Battistin, who is kind of a big deal. Not only is she a wonderful therapist, but she's the practice owner of the largest holistic oriented therapy and psychiatric practice in California, with a 95% success rate of getting clients off psychotropic medications within an 18-month period. And full disclosure, Jennie did Daniela and my premarital counseling. So she's basically the reason I'm still married.
Jennie:
Thank you. While Beau is strategic about planning people's financial future, I'm strategic about helping people understand their emotions and connect with their partner in new ways, so they can have the important conversations and really get under the surface. We want to stop the endless cycle of ineffective therapy and ineffective medication so people are actually living their best lives.
Beau:
Finances are one of the central themes that brings couples into therapy. Tell me why.
Jennie:
There's so much around finances that highlights old core wounds from childhood. It connects directly to attachment theory — whether someone is more anxious or more avoidant in how they approach conversations that feel uncertain or scary. Couples usually come in for two major reasons: finances or sex. And what I always say is, if we get your finances going in the right direction, your sex life is going to be amazing.
Beau:
I think that's our new marketing campaign.
Jennie:
When it comes to finances, I look at clients in two categories: seekers and retreaters. Interestingly, those roles can flip when money is the topic. Someone who's typically anxious and seeking in emotional conversations might become a retreater around money, because it brings up so much uncertainty. I call it the SIP — security, identity, and power. Those are the three things money typically translates to in someone's mind. When couples can understand which themes are emerging for them, they can have much better conversations.
Beau:
That seeker and retreater dynamic is exactly what Isee in financial planning conversations. One person driving everything, one person barely saying a word. What's usually behind the retreating?
Jennie:
It often goes back to what someone learned from their parents — that money was scary, that you don't talk about it, or that they simply were never taught the basics. When you don't even understand the language, how do you enter the conversation? And then both people enter a relationship carrying all of that history, making assumptions the other person can't see. Usually it doesn't surface until wedding planning, when one person books a $30,000 venue and the other is thinking about a down payment on a house. And then once kids come, the budget conversation becomes unavoidable.
Beau:
So what does a healthy financial conversation between partners actually look like?
Jennie:
Ideally it starts on the third date. I always say talk about money early. What are our spending habits? What are our saving habits? What does financial security mean to each of us? Because if you can create safety in that conversation early, you can build a relationship where money becomes something you navigate together rather than something that drives you apart. The goal is to get curious about each other rather than defensive —to say, help me understand your relationship with money, not, why did you spend that?
Beau:
You mentioned the Gottman research. Tell me about that, because I think this is where the therapy conversation gets really relevant for couples who think they're fine.
Jennie:
John and Julie Gottman have researched couples forover 40 years and found that couples come into therapy seven years later thanthey should. Seven years. My hope is always that people come in sooner, not when things are falling apart, but as preventative maintenance. If you can frame it to your partner as, I really want to understand you better, I want to know you in a deeper way, it feels much less threatening. And the reality is, we don't learn about relationships or money in school. Two of the most important things in adult life, and there's no handbook.
Beau:
I also refer clients to you when I can see thatwhat's happening between a couple is beyond what a financial conversation canfix. There's clearly a role for both sides of this — financial planning andtherapy working together.
Jennie:
Absolutely. Everyone needs an arsenal of advisors. A financial planner, a therapist, someone on the other side of the phone when you need them. They're not competing, they're complementary. You're working on the financial security side, I'm working on the emotional security side, and ideally we're sending clients back and forth between the two.
Beau:
For someone who's had a rough history with relationships, especially when finances were the reason things didn't work out— how do you inch your way back in?
Jennie:
Every relationship comes with a problem you're going to accept. The question is which one. If yours is that talking about money is hard, be upfront about that early. Tell your partner, I really want to get this right. I'm committing to you and I know this is an area I've struggled in, but I want us to find a pathway together — whether that's a therapist, a financial planner, or both. That kind of vulnerability is actually one of the most powerful things you can bring into a new relationship.
Beau:
Last question. Where can someone find you?
Jennie:
We're Hope Therapy Center. You can find us at hope-therapy-center.com and on Instagram at hope_therapy_center. We also run relationship workshops — it's a great, lower stakes way in. A group setting, multiple couples, we talk about what I call the demon dialogs and how to move past them. Therapy really isn't scary. It's actually kind of fun.
Beau:
Therapy is fun — words I never thought I'd hear. I apologize in advance for the wave of referrals headed your way.
Beau:
Separate bank accounts or joint bank accounts?
Jennie:
Separate.
Beau:
From the therapist. Interesting.
Beau:
Split the bill or one person pays?
Jennie:
One person pays. I'm a romantic.
Beau:
Last one. Know someone's salary or know someone's debt?
Jennie:
Debt. It tells you so much more. Their values,their lifestyle, what's really going on under the hood.
Beau:
I'm scared of debt, so that answer is another sessionentirely. Thanks Jennie, this was a great one.
Jennie:
Thank you!
Watch previous episodes of Couchside Conversations here:
The Invisible Load of Mid-Life
How Different Generations View Wealth
DISCLOSURES
Information presented herein is for discussion and illustrative purposes only and is not intended to constitute financial, therapeutic, or legal advice. The views and opinions expressed by the speakers are as of the date of the recording and are subject to change. You should consult with a licensed mental health professional before making any decisions concerning your relationship or emotional wellbeing.
